You are viewing jeune_fleur

02 September 2013 @ 01:40 pm
Thoughts on society and sexism + blogs  
Mood: Relaxed .
Listening to: ---.
Thinking: I dun wanna go to print.
Weather: Sunny .

In the past week, social justice and sexism were very present in my life. First, a sort of debate started in Wada's Facebook profile when she wrote something about introverted & extroverted; it was very funny how she asked why don't we forbid an extroverted to not go out of his/her home because he/she hangs out every weekend. She pointed out that most of us would find weird to say that about an extroverted person, because society thinks that hanging out every weekend is "cool" and "normal"; well then forcing an introverted person to hang out when they don't feel like it sounds JUST as weird.
This topic had a strong impact on me because I live those sort of things every single day of my life: people judge me because I spend the weekends at home drawing, or watching movies, or chatting with my overseas friends. People judge me because I'm almost 22 and boyfriend-less (and am not seeking one desperately), because I listen to Korean and Japanese music only, because I'm still a virgin, and the list of etceteras is very long.

And secondly, I experienced a situation of sexism on the streets last Friday when I was waiting for the bus to go home. The bus stop is right next to a big parking lot; a woman inside had turned on the engine of her car and was heading to the exit of the parking lot, when right at the entrance her car stops working, making it impossible for other vehicles to come in or out. Imagine the desperate situation she was in! There's nothing more uncomfortable than that, specially when you know the people around you are NOT tolerant and most of them will judge you if you're a woman driving. Well that's EXACTLY what happened. A man in his 50's or so passed by and I heard him say "Pfh, poor animal, it's obvious she's a fucking woman", to what I responded by yelling like a mad woman something like "YOU FUCKING SEXIST BASTARD" XD. Omg, I just couldn't contain it. What he said sounded so disgusting!! I can't believe a human being can still think that way! .

The self-development blogs I read

A few days (or weeks?) ago, warriorofdream asked me through Twitter about the blogs I read about personal development, positivity and such, and I decided to come up with a list and post it here as well, in case someone might like to read about these things (or you have some other websites to recommend <3).

I'm not just going to leave you links of the blogs below, but share with you my favorites out of their latest posts, so here we gooo~! .

Marc and Angel Hack Life is my favorite blog. They update pretty frequently and even though the content sometimes is a bit repetitive, it helps to make it really sink in your brain until you end up making those thoughts a part of your daily life.

The same happens with Tiny Buddah!

Now Think Simple Now was the first blog I ever followed on these topics, and they certainly have a lot of amazing articles in their archive even though they don't update as frequently as the other two already mentioned above.

Aaaand for the last we have James Clear! I've been consistently reading this blog ever since it started (not so long ago) and I can already tell he really has that something. His articles are very interesting and quite original.

I saved Brute Reason for the very last because I don't think it fits into the same categories as the other ones. Basically, it's an activist blog that I've been reading ever since I started getting informed into feminism and social justice. Every single article in this blog has me thinking for days!

( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
♣ κяìssⓐsauя, ì ¢нσσѕє уσu! ♣: Super Junior: Eunhyuk ▬▬▬ Blow Kisskrissasaur on September 2nd, 2013 04:46 pm (UTC)
I am glad you are learning about sexism and all that. When i met you I remember I side-eyed you a few times, but now when I see posts like this or your tweets I feel so proud of you hahahah ♥

I should check out these links. maybe they will help me... IDK. I need to stop hating myself so much.
소라jeune_fleur on September 2nd, 2013 05:17 pm (UTC)
I know. I always think back to our chats about SNSD XD. But my thoughts haven't changed that much. I think the big difference is that now I don't think bad of girls who think that showing their body is okay. I kind of look at companies suspiciously though, because I feel like their idea of what the woman is is pretty sexist and narrow.

Though I must admit I have gotten more in trouble with people now that I think this way. People now feel sort of scared of talking to me because I am aware of every little thing people say that might sound sexist or unfair. People always get taken aback and try to explain to me that it isn't a big deal when for me IT IS XD.
I n f i n i t y ♪: GD WTF?1stepcl0ser on September 2nd, 2013 06:00 pm (UTC)
wtf, how could someone think or say something like that?! i mean... wtf. it's good that you shouted back at him, though. i feel so bad for that woman :( it happens here, too. i guess it happens everywhere and that's the saddest part about it.

and yeah, i agree. actually i know a looot of people who prefer to stay at home rather than going out all the time, because they have a lot of things they enjoy doing at home or they enjoy being alone - like me. and it's so unfair that introverted people - or people who love being alone or love staying at home (maybe even bc they don't have enough money, uh) are being judged so often. plus, if you're in your 20s and without a bf and you tend to keep to yourself - like we do - then the judgment gets even bigger :/ idek why, it's our own problem, right?
소라: Alice ~ Upside downjeune_fleur on September 3rd, 2013 10:43 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it seems to be a worldwide thing :/ I don't get where the difference lies, tbh! Yeah, men have penises, women have vaginas, and we are certainly different brain wise at some points, but we're all living in the same world and dealing with the same things soooo...?

Then when you're almost hitting the 30's they're going to ask you about children, and then when you're 40 people will start saying you're a "cranky grandma" because apparently the fact that you're single, or not married or without kids means you were too horrible to stand XDDD.
Fuck off with them, really >.>;; there are as many different ways to view life as human beings exist in this world, and as long as we aren't hurting the people around us I think it's none of their business.
deep cover gecko: [SNSD] → ;_______;burger on September 2nd, 2013 06:41 pm (UTC)
I like spending time at home too, I think a lot of people do! I don't know why it's still seen as such a weird thing, some people just don't like being in big crowds of people and things like that. Before I met my boyfriend I went out more because I loved meeting cute guys in clubs hahaha but even then I was equally as happy spending time at home talking to my friends on twitter instead. I think it's ridiculous how people judge anyone who loves Asian music too -- like, it's just MUSIC! It's no different from liking music in English or your native language.

That was brave of you to yell at that guy, he definitely deserved it! An engine not working or a car stalling can just as easily happen to a man, there's no inherent uselessness at driving just because it's a woman doing it! Some people's thinking is just so old-fashioned.
소라: Diva Keyjeune_fleur on September 3rd, 2013 10:47 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha can you believe I never went clubbing before? XD. I never thought of clubs as a place where you can actually meet someone who wants more than sex with you (and as far as I remember I've never wanted a one night stand with a man so that made things harder for me as a teenager XD).

Yeah D: I usually don't call out people that way on the streets because you never know if the person is bad enough to start a fight, but well, I couldn't keep it inside that day >.<;;
Noeliastrawwberrry on September 3rd, 2013 03:18 am (UTC)
Mm qué fea situación : / Creo que en realidad una situación así es igual para un hombre o mujer porque te desesperás aunque solo sea volver a prender el motor. Pero bueno, el tema del auto + mujeres es peor.. Pero el comentario es totalmente innecesario. De machistas está lleno, tanto hombres como mujeres, pero creo que hay una diferencia entre pensarlo para vos mismo (creo que todos hemos tenido algún pensamiento sexista sobre algo en algún momento aunque no querramos admitirlo) a la maldad de decirlo en voz alta o gritarlo para que la persona te escuche.. Eso es totalmente despreciable, eso es ser un ser humano horrible. Igual no solo cosas sexistas sino cualquier cosa para lastimar a alguien.

Me gusta mucho el blog de tinybuddah, quiero empezar a ponerlo más en práctica.
소라: Freedomjeune_fleur on September 3rd, 2013 10:51 pm (UTC)
Si, hay que admitirlo, a veces por más que uno trate siempre se le escapa un comentario de ese tipo, pero por lo menos no lo digas D: Aunque no se, eso también me tiene pensando hace bastante, porque no se cómo juzgar a los hombres que conozco. Porque justamente a veces piensan cosas que no te dicen, y para mi es como un re turn off saber que el tipo es machista pero se lo guarda ;_;

Está muy bueno ese blog :33 Aparte como que siempre postean artículso que justo coinciden con lo que me pasa en el día LOL.
 ☜♡☞: CL Animatedrabby on September 3rd, 2013 03:29 am (UTC)
What's so frustrating about sexism (and racism) is that even if we yell at someone for saying something like that, if we are the subject that they are attacking (a woman, a black person, etc...) then the crying out against it only makes us (to the perpetrator) look even more pathetic. When I man stands up to a man for sexism, or a white person stands up to a white person for racism, I feel is the only time that person will take the argument seriously at all. How pathetic... ;_; But I'm proud of you for standing up - just be careful to remain safe, okay??! ;O;

Ah, when I was in college I was JUST LIKE YOU~! :D Happily single and not looking, virgin and hoping to wait until marriage, a total introvert who LOVES staying at home on weekends (still do!). Luckily I was surrounded by artsy individuals who, while they didn't GET me, they respected me. I told them my views with pride and no shame or embarrassment or uncertainty, and they nodded along like it made sense because they could see how obviously happy I was with the way things were. <3

It sounds like maybe you're not getting that kind of treatment from your mates... :( Hopefully it's not so bad that it becomes detrimental to you in any way. ;o; <3 I think it's incredible fun to stay home and geek out! Once in a blue moon I want to go out and party (amusingly, while I identify as an introvert, every time in my life I've ever taken a test between the two I've ranked straight down the middle!), and... Just allowing yourself to do what YOU think is fun, I find, is most rewarding! <3

소라: Key - Looking at youjeune_fleur on September 3rd, 2013 11:02 pm (UTC)
Yuh, you're right :( And yes, I am safe!! Or well, I thought I was because there were more people at the stop with me who started turning around to look at the guy as well. If I was alone I wouldn't have said anything because I know how people are so violent nowadays and would pick up a fight for anything >.<;;

I feel the same way about my classmates now :3 Unlike the last two terms, now we're all the same girls in the classes, so even though we aren't super close they still respect me even though they might not share my ideas or tastes.
It isn't like I don't want to have a relationship right now, because I'd love to experience what really being in love is and commit to someone and also have that someone commit to me, but I've gone through SO much shit with my past relationships that I'm very wary of who I let into my life. Like, if I had to have a boyfriend, I think I'd think of it very deeply before committing to anything that wouldn't work in the future >_<;; I like my life as it is very much so I don't want anyone to come to fuck it up.

"Just allowing yourself to do what YOU think is fun, I find, is most rewarding! <3"

I think that's the point! If one day I feel like going out, I go out. If the next day I don't feel like it, I don't. Easy! I don't get why would people judge you for it :/ the worst is that professionally it gets hard because they always want people who are popular, hang out a lot and such, and they actually do investigate your personal social media accounts to see what's your life like aside from work XD. That's what I'm scared of the most!

OFC LETS CHAAAT~! I love chatting with you *---*. You always have so much to say!
 ☜♡☞: oops!rabby on September 4th, 2013 04:36 am (UTC)
Ah!! I can't imagine having your social media being investigated for ... Societal activity! XD;;; YOU NEED A SOCIAL-DOUBLE!! Like a stunt double, but this one just goes out and schmoozes for you. XD Kekekekeke... That would be the BEST. XDDD

Ah! I'm glad there were people around when you called him out! Just never let yourself be caught alone or something. ;o;

Oh man, I TOTALLY get you for the SO thing... Well, sort of. XD I say I do, but I was lucky enough not to have been hurt or messed up by my past relationships. XD;;; But I was in a dead relationship that was over in all but words (since none were ever exchanged anymore) with my now-ex when I decided I wanted to actually try to date for real again. I dunno how to describe it. We were together and it was WONDERFUL, but as our interests changed (it was a mostly online relationship) we talked less and less and had less to talk about anyway, until we rarely ever exchanged words, mails, anything... And eventually it was, like, over a year like that, neither of us wanting to really admit it was over, and being relatively comfortable with... Just hoping it would catch aflame again. I was happy to be "taken" but not be in a real relationship anymore...

Then eventually I was surprised to find that I wanted to seek out someone again, even just to try going for coffee with the next guy who asked me... Just to see! It was really unexpected and TOTALLY unlike me. It just so happened that while I was in that mind-set my now-boyfriend (of now 6½ years) finally got my attention and we started dating.

So... Hopefully, if it is right, eventually you'll feel ready - even unexpectedly! - to try taking that risk again. :)

Of course, as I said, I didn't deal with much heartache or heartbreak from my previous relationships, so I've bounced around quite happily and peacefully in my love-life, but... I'm still surprised that I ever felt ready to just TRY DATING, which I never had been ready to do before... It just happened organically. :) Which gives me a lot of hope for you, too. <3

^0^ I love chatting with you too - you talk lots just like me~!! XDDD I'm just a chatterbox, and people are usually intimidated by how much I write, but don't ever feel pressured to have to match how much I do say! XD I'm happy even with a sentence or two. :3
소라jeune_fleur on September 5th, 2013 06:42 pm (UTC)
You actually gave me a really good idea! XD. But I'd prefer to just say I don't own a FB 8D. I was actually thinking, though, of making my blog Facebook that way and then say I don't have a personal one lol.

That's very sweet though :3 I actually don't feel like doing the effort of meeting someone, basically because I am happy and comfortable the way I'm living right now ^^; Actually, I think that I'd be an extremely bad girlfriend at the moment because my life is basically all about college and my overseas friends at the moment XD. Maybe later, when I get a job, I will meet someone ^^; but that'll be just destiny.

Can you believe me I never dated before? Like, I've never gone into an official date - someone taking me out and such. NE-VER XD.

Yeah, I've been told the same XD. BUT I DUN CARE. I LOVE TALKING.
 ☜♡☞rabby on September 6th, 2013 12:13 am (UTC)
I CAN TOTALLY BELIEVE IT! I've only "dated" Marco, and our early dates were to Toys R Us, because... That's the kind of people we are. XD But I honestly don't really feel like I'm "dating" him... He's my guy, my buddy, etc., and we've been living together for probably... About 3 years now? This is our first place on our own, but before that we lived at his Mum's house, first in seperate bedrooms and then eventually sharing. :) So... We're at a stage somewhere past dating and before marriage... But yeah - other than when Marco and I started dating, never been taken to coffee or a restaurant/movie, etc... XD

Exactly! If you're comfortable with how things are right now... THAT'S PERFECT~!!! XD <3 But if eventually you feel like you wanna slip into that mode again/for the first time, just do it whenever you're ready and don't rush yourself. <3
소라jeune_fleur on September 11th, 2013 08:18 pm (UTC)
I love your story with him <333. I just want something like that, you know? I don't want to just date or have a boyfriend for the sake of saying "I'm taken". I want someone to share my life with, a partner in life. I guess that's why I won't accept just any guy ^^;
 ☜♡☞rabby on September 11th, 2013 09:10 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, yeah, I was super lucky. He remembers the first time he saw me and everything I was wearing and thinking he wanted to get to know me right away, somehow. I remember not remembering his name and at one point making a joke about being home by midnight or he'd turn into a pumpkin... And then I said I'd just call him pumpkin. I never did, until much later when we were together and now it's one of my (many, many, many) nicknames for him. <3 XD
Stay with me: Big Bang: With youhaebin on September 3rd, 2013 06:29 am (UTC)
I will never understand why people or society in general is so god damn judgemental.
Let the people do whatever they want. You are fine with people going out and having parties? So you should do the same with people who stay at home.
Jutta and I had such a conversation and I told her that I like it to be for my own. Not every time you feel lonely.
I like it to read a book in silence, I like it to watch a movie by my own or listening music.
Society talks about respecting others the whole time so then they should start doing it.
And it is nothing wrong when you like it to be at home, it is nothing wrong with being single and not having sex.
It’s okay. As long as you are fine with your decisions, everything is alright. ♥
소라jeune_fleur on September 3rd, 2013 11:04 pm (UTC)
Indeeeeed! D: It doesn't make you a better or a worse person, it just makes you different from the others because, tadaah~! We ARE different from one another lol.

Of course I'm fine with my decisions :3 it's just a bit sad how those decisions sometimes affect possible work opportunities but hey! I'm going to manage for sure ^^.
Warrior of dream: V Camerawarriorofdream on September 3rd, 2013 06:25 pm (UTC)
add here I'm 23
People judge me because I'm almost 22 and boyfriend-less (and am not seeking one desperately), because I listen to Korean and Japanese music only, because I'm still a virgin, and the list of etceteras is very long.
and you described my whole life too... >.<
but you know I'm proud of my life, I don't regret being at home, it's better than get drunk every single weekend, have sex with unknown people and pretend to have cool life..
this is the reality around me, but whatever.. I think it's your/mine like do what we think is right!
no one can tell you what to do, and if they say, they stupid, they base their own view on relaity and what you should do, but what they see everyday around them.. not cool >.>

wow you totally stood for this woman! great job girl!!!!!
he was disgusting.. fast driving woman sometimes cause more problems than men, but it doens't mean you can judge someone like this,.

ahh I wanted to remind you, I thought you forgot haha XD thanks for sharing it <3
I'll check what blog I follow and post some links for you too

소라jeune_fleur on September 3rd, 2013 11:06 pm (UTC)
I'm really okay with people who part, get drunk and have one night stands! But it's just not my thing, and people should respect that >.>;;

Nu nu, I hadn't forgotten, hahah ^o^;; it's just that I was waiting for an entry without pictures because I didn't want the links to be lost between them :P

Yay, liiinks *-*. I'll make sure to check them out!
● Miharu ♥ ~sufferland on September 11th, 2013 05:29 am (UTC)
Pertenecemos al grupo de las raras y después las mismas personas que nos llaman raras se quieren acercar. Me acuerdo cuando hace varios años era de nerd estar mucho tiempo en la pc, y mira ahora toda esa gente pegada al facebook xD

Me acuerdo cuando yo también era la rara por la música que escuchaba y el estilo de vida más tranquilo que llevaba, me acuerdo que llegué a decir que prefería estar sola chateando con otras personas que salir a bailar ! y ahora después de años de eso mucha gente busca hablar conmigo, por el simple hecho de que aproveché esos años para estudiar y aprender de lo que sea! Así que ahora Sora quizás te encuentres sola, pero después van a venir a buscarte cuando los demás vean que sus vidas están vacías!

Y lo otro no se que opinar más que si, es así y más en Argentina! lo más triste ha sido escuchar a las mismas mujeres hacer chistes de lo mal que manejan las mujeres..que increíble
소라jeune_fleur on September 11th, 2013 08:19 pm (UTC)
Me acuerdo cuando hace varios años era de nerd estar mucho tiempo en la pc, y mira ahora toda esa gente pegada al facebook

Mal XD. Hasta en los celulares están en FB *lol*.

Espero que me pase así entonces, Juli :DDDDDD Igual debe ser re triste para esas personas darse cuenta que no hicieron realmente nada de sus vidas....
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )