Listening to: ---.
Thinking: 5 more days... 5 more days...
Weather: Sunny .
My post was supposed to be quite positive today but... I just feel really bitchy and upset at the moment and need to let it all out, to the point that I feel like I need advice from you guys.
I never truly lie on my journal (or twitter). I'm just the way you perceive me here: generally very positive, always looking for the good in every person and situation. And as a result of being this way, sometimes I overlook some things that shouldn't be overlooked and end up forgiving/letting pass things that shouldn't be forgiven/let pass. Basically, I feel foolish.
My nearby friends never make the effort to meet up with me when we're barely 30 minutes away from each other's place, and when we do, the things we originally planned never happen. Remember the photoshoot Wada and Cata promised me 2 years ago? Well yeah, it never happened, but we are supposed to do it this month and they haven't even contacted me ever since I ASKED THEM WHEN THEY WANTED TO DO IT AT THE BEGINING OF JUNE.
I feel like I'm not standing for myself. Like I'm not making people respect me and I'm considering my friends people who don't even move a finger to see me and catch up with life.
How is it possible that Marie and Sae, who are over another fucking continent, would meet up with me more frequently than these two if they ever had a chance to be physically close to me? And we don't even need anything complicated: bedroom, snacks and movie times starts rolling and we don't even spend 1 fucking hour planning it. We have a 5 hour difference, unni works a lot, Marinnie studies a lot, I study, do pilates, Japanese and Korean and we STILL find the time to catch up and keep in touch! I don't think they (my nearby friends) have en excuse: if they love and care about me, they WILL make a space in their lives for me, right? Well, that isn't happening, and I'm really tired of going after them, always asking "hey, when can we meet up? I miss you guys".